Gosh, I hear those stories over and over again. Same same but different. She said… She did… She didn’t… It’s her… In the Creative Industry, we are a lot of women with more or less the need to work together. We are doing amazing things and I am pretty excited to see so many women writing their own hero stories. We are starting businesses and building empires, some of us are even the bread feeder in their families, but we are all doing it because we are meant to do it, we understood that this world needs us. But sometimes we are extremely envious of each other. Or is it something else? This is the only explanation I have because it doesn’t make sense AT ALL. Somehow the fact that others “seem” to have more of something gives us the feeling of not having enough. Or not being enough. And when I ask my mentees and fellow business friends what their biggest struggle is in business and life; most of them say it’s the fear of not being enough. Not being good enough, not earning enough, not being outgoing enough, not being attractive enough. And I confess; I am one of them as well. My biggest fear is that my impact on the world isn’t big enough, that I am not enough to really change something. But all I want is; that we’re all living the life we want, that we are all able to chase our dreams, fearlessly. I dream of a world where we lift each other, instead of tearing each other down. Because I truly believe that there is more than ENOUGH for every one of us. That means that we are ENOUGH. We are all broken somehow, but instead of cheering each other, we envy others for totally irrational reasons and totally irrelevant things.
After a little research, I found out that this has (mostly) a very simple but deep psychological reason: our little sense of self-worth. (We don’t feel worthy of something, so we don’t grant others the same thing) The root for this is a generation-spanning collective believe of modesty as the highest sublime virtue. Which isn’t wrong, but somehow this turned into a self-destructive behavior which isn’t very helpful these days. We are belittling ourselves to protect ourselves from being exposed, from being criticised. So we instead criticise ourselves. Ironic, isn’t it? Brene Brown says the very rooted emotion of most of our behavior is shame and “…it’s destructive. Shame erodes our courage and fuels disengagement.”
The only real solution to this is: Be positive. Help others. Smile. Say Thank You without relativizing, without explaining. Throw kindness around like confetti. Show courage with those who are vulnerable. And be courageous and allow yourself to be seen. “Vulnerability is not weakness. And that myth is profoundly dangerous. Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.” (Brene Brown)
Helping others helps us too. Because being kind to others means being kind to ourselves. It lifts us too. Maybe this is the real reason why I am a photographer and a mentor – I help others, I encourage them and lift them so I feel lifted as well. A little egoistic? Maybe. Does it any good in the world anyway? Absolutely.
So, coming back to my original intention; I believe this is the reason we all need a sister(hood), we all need people we can cheer, who we can lift and who we can help grow, so we can grow too.
P.S. This is just one way not just to survive, but to move forward with your Business. If you’re curious what else helped me to build a profitable business, get my FREE EBOOK “5 ways to get ahead with your business” HERE: